Personal rant: I hate, hate knitting! ARGH!

I never got a hang of it as a child when my mother tried to teach me and I hate it even more now. I’m a crochet lady, damn it! I don’t understand knitting at all! Not to mention that my mother talks about two left, two right method, while all patterns on the net talk about knitting and purling. ARGH! And showing me the knot in fast forward motion doesn’t help…  Jeez, I don’t remember knitting anymore – I was like eight or nine back then!

I’m just spitting mad right now. I’ve knitted for hours and the end result is a complete mess, not to mention all the stupid questions like: “What are you doing? Why do you work your knot so close to the tip?” Ahem – I don’t know? Perhaps I’m struggling with how the hell to hold the whole thing and prevent the rest from sliding of the needle? And chanting different numbers in the background when I’m counting the whole damn thing to figure out where in the pattern I’ve stayed at is so not welcome.

And it all started out so well…

I wanted to make a wonderful scarf to go with a slouchy hat I’ve already crocheted. I love crochet, have I mentioned that? It’s so easy, not complicated at all, so swift, and you always know where you’re at…  I love crochet! Love it! It’s my favourite thing to do on the weekly train ride. It’s meditative, calming, it’s simply wonderful for my artistic soul and budding fashion sense. I love it. Love it. I’m reading Japanese patterns for Christ’s sake! That’s how serious this love affair is. No language barrier will hold me back, ok?

Ahem, yes –  so I decided to use the same yarn as for the hat and find a reasonably simple yet fun pattern to match for the scarf. No problem. Everything dandy. Here comes the dreaded and expected ‘BUT’.

I came downstairs to the living room. I had my pattern printed out and a small left-over yarn to use as a template. I’ve used mohair for the hat and we wouldn’t want to unravel that – ever. Mohair can be a pain, but the end result is so worth it. Then my mother had to butt in. And it all went downhill from there.

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“Why don’t you knit that scarf?”

“Eh? I don’t know…”

“Give me that. I’ll show you. It’s easy. See?”

*Doesn’t see at all and already has a sinking feeling in her gut.*

“ It’ll look better than crochet anyway.”

*Really, thanks mum, really (note the sarcasm).*

Suffice to say I’ve slaved over the thing once I found a beginner’s knitting pattern to prove I have tried – and failed. I don’t think I’ll get over this setback so quickly. Probably I’ll research the heck out of this, watch videos and read advice, and try once again. Alone. Preferably at night when no one can see me twist my wrists and curse the air blue. But until then – I hate, hate knitting.

Image source: Google search

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